21 Feb

This morning I listened to a podcast where a man was working in an appliance store and quite by accident he was seen goofing around doing a G.W. Bush impersonation.  Since this was during the eight years of G.W.’s reign he was quickly in demand.  He even looks like the former president, or so they say on the podcast.  He was able to leave his appliance store job and just work as a George Bush impersonator!  Impressive.  However no good thing lasts forever and term limitation not only ended G.W.’s presidency it also ending this man’s business.

He really didn’t want to return to the appliance store, so he’s starting a podcast!  He made this decision not knowing with the out come will be.  He’s just going to try.  He speaks to the “signs” that helped him in making this decision.  It’s funny since a logical person has a tendency to blow off these “signs” but sometimes they are very powerful.  Perhaps the stress and worry makes us less logical and more emotional, and therefore susceptible to seeing these signs.  Of course the other explanation is that we simply see what we want to, in order to have hope.

I try not to go down that path, but it’s happened to me time and time again.  Hearing this man talk about his situation and the signs he saw, well I wasn’t listening to a podcast about being out of work, or faith, or religion.  Not even about the paranormal, crystals, or anything NEW AGE! 😀  It was just out of the blue and really strange.

Certainly the economy is still bad so it isn’t that unheard of to hear people are struggling with income and finding a job, but still…

Also a couple of people were kind enough to respond to my prior post.  Not only does it help to write about what bothers you, it also helps to know that someone listens (reads) and care enough to respond.  I’d like to think of myself as being someone that can stand alone and do things on my own, but that is just how it is most of the time.

Normally I wouldn’t darken the Internet with my fears and concerns but I had a “sign” of my own the other day.

I enjoy science fiction.  Even thought I didn’t care completely for the sci-fi series “Firefly”  It did have some good points.  I did watch the movie “Serenity” which was better than the series.  When I saw a show called “Firefly: Browncoats Unite!”  I pressed the button to schedule it to record.  A few days later I noticed it had recorded, so I watched it.  I enjoy imdb (Internet Movie Database) so after watching the show I was looking up the various actors.  I was surprised to see that “Firefly” was only on for one season.  An amazing following for one season, and even more impressive they made a movie!

Most of the actors in the show I have never seen before but one, Gina Torres, I have.  I think I first saw her in an awful sci-fi show “Cleopatra 2525“.  Later I saw her in “The Matrix” I think it was the 2nd, and/or 3rd sequels.  So I dug around in IMDB to see what she’s been doing acting wise and then starting looking through some of the pictures.  Looking through the images I saw this picture…

Really?  Write.  What the hell is that?  Then I remembered something the therapist, I continued to go to after my now ex-wife stopped going (marriage counseling), had said.  She had asked me to write something, a letter to my Dad that had passed away a few years earlier, I believe.  I did and gave it to her, the therapist.  She read it and was surprised at how well written it was and she even suggested that I write more.  I was honored and had never considered such a thing.  My spelling is atrocious (I got lucky with that word and the spell checker was able to figure it out!) plus my vocabulary is maybe a hair above basic.  Unless it’s something technical I don’t read, well I’m on the Internet every day and I work with computers so I guess I do read constantly, but not novels and such.

How could I be a writer?  Back to the point, sort of.  Done with looking at the pictures I moved on to other things, but this pictures just stuck with me.  Did I see a sign?  Was something telling me to “Write.”  I mean there’s even a PERIOD on there. 😀

So this is the reason I’m sharing this with you.  I don’t know what that picture means, perhaps nothing, but maybe there is something guiding and directing our lives.  I know my wife and I spoke at lengths at the amazing set of events that just put us in close enough proximity to one another where we could meet.   Both of us had horrible prior relationships and those tough times put us the path that led us to each other.

This past February 14th, was our 21st anniversary.  It’s gone by in a flash!  Our baby, Mandy, turned 18 on February 8th!  We’re so proud of both our girls and all in all it’s just been a wonderful life (yes I got the unintended pun reference to the Jimmy Stewart classic movie).  I’d say the majority of my anxiety is my need to provide for them.  Speaking to a friend she tells me this is how most men are.  Slaying the dragon and bringing home to the family, is how she put it.  Personally I wouldn’t think the family would be very happy with a dragon carcass, well maybe the first one they’d find interesting, but the second, and third… I’m sure my lovely wife would get as disgusted with the dragons as she does with the opened and randomly discarded Amazon boxes on the floor.

I’ve come to the conclusion that you never can know what life has in store for you.  If you knew it wouldn’t be an adventure.  It wouldn’t be as interesting as it is.  Sure my fear of not being able to provide for my family is real, and it may come true.  It has happened to other people in many different ways and forms.  All I can do is the best I can do and hope and pray.  If I could just stop worrying about it and go with the flow, well I guess I’m still chasing that level of maturity that I haven’t quite mastered yet.

I want to thank all of you for allowing me to indulge myself in a bit of this pity party.  Perhaps it will help you to know you’re not alone.  Not alone in your fears, or even your fear of insanity for believing in signs placed in front of you from… from… WHO?!?!?!  Deep breath, calm down, it’s just your overly emotional brain playing tricks on you.  But then again, maybe not, maybe it’s a living universe telling us, to hang in there, you’re important, and you may not see it but there is a plan for you.

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