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Posts Tagged ‘smoking’

Don’t Be a Butt!

12 Nov

Smoke IN your car dumbass!Look first off I could really care less if you want to run a 70% greater chance of developing cancer from smoking.  I mean I’ll feel bad for you but when I find out you were a smoker I’ll shrug and say “well it wasn’t like they (you) weren’t warned…”  “Still sad though…”  I guess that is just the price for being one of the cool kids.  Hey I used to put lead pellets in my mouth to hold it there to reload my pellet gun a little faster, so I’m no great genius or superior human being for keeping toxins out of my body.  Now with all that said (a disclaimer if you will) here is my point.

I really thought the point to smoking was to get that crap into your lungs, yet ever pretty day when I roll the windows down on my Jeep I first SMELL then SEE some loser with their cigarette hanging out of a window.  I guess the lady that I saw today was cold, because she had the driver’s side window up with only about four inch gap and her hand AND CIGARETTE hanging out of the car.  What is it with you people?  Do you really think it is socially acceptable to do something that other people find disgusting?  Where are the “politically correct” police?  Everyone makes fun of construction workers, plumbers especially, with their butt crack exposed to the world!  Where is the out cry against smokers stinking up the place?   I’ve seen several smokers, on TV trying to stand up for smokers rights.  I laugh at this, of course.  They are pissed off because society is making it more and more difficult on them to do their thing where ever they want to.  I guess it really isn’t fair, depending on when you started smoking of course.

Butt Crack

Butt Crack

It wasn’t too long ago when smoking was common in the work place, I mean at your desk!  I’ve never smoked, directly, but boy I sure did when people lit up in cube-ville, indirectly!  I’ve always hated the smell of cigarette smoke.  The smell got into my hair or my clothes.  As a life long non-smoker I can smell the stink on people that smoke, or people that have been around smokers.  Wait a minute!  Maybe that’s the reason these smokers hang their smelly butts out of the car windows.  They don’t want to stink!  That must be it!  Yes, I am a genius!  So instead of not smoking, or smoking with the windows rolled up they try to get that nasty smelling smoke out of their car so they won’t smell bad.  Maybe it’s because they don’t want it to burn their eyes.  I really don’t know.  If you are a smoker tell me please.

I keep thinking about this and I just need to do it.  I think it would be pretty simple to rig up a reservoir under the hood of my Jeep.  Fill it with Butyric acid, the chemical that smells like rancid butter, Parmesan cheese, vomit, and body odor.  Connect a windshield wiper pump to the reservoir and then route the tube out the side of the vehicle.  I’d need to come up with a nozzle that would atomize the chemical so it would be a fine mist.  Wire all this up to a switch inside my vehicle and the next time I run across some insensitive ass that things stinking up my environment should be socially acceptable, I’ll just roll up my windows and start hitting the VOMIT button!

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